Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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