he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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