Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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