The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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