It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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