He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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