Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
