I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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