I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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