Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
