I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
