you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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