Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
