I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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