I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
