i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
