i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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