Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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