bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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