You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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