Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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