I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize