But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
