Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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