Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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