I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize