he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
