we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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