Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
