addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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