Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
