you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
