Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
