Kiss
Puke
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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