Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
