WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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