if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
