I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
