where am i from again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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