FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize