Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
