I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
