After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
