She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
