This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize