I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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