All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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