she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
