Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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