I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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