Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize