Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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