So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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