I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
