He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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