apparently the secret to your success is patron
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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