Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
