I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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