dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Someone came in the potted fern
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
