He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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