i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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