i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize